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I watched Star Wars with my kids and this is what happened……

So, I’ve been on bed rest for  much of this week, recovering from surgery on Tuesday. My husband works away, so when you have kids as young as mine, bed rest really means “try not to jump on the trampoline for a few days”. Suffice to say, I’ve been doing a lot of ‘inside voices’ stuff with The Guys, like reading, movie watching, puzzles, that sort of thing. Not that these are not part of our normal day to day life, its just there has been lots of it. We LOVE movies in our house. And this week has been all about the classics. I really wanted to sit and watch flicks that I loved as a kid with my favourite little friends. So we’ve watched Bed knobs and Broomsticks, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, The Wizard of Oz, to name a few. Yesterday I made the rash decision to buy the newly released Star Wars Complete Saga. Now, some of you may be concerned to hear that I have never seen a single Star Wars Movie, until this very night, in all of my movie loving days. Harry, for some un-known reason, is into Star Wars Lego, and was desperate to watch the movies. So what better series to embark upon while I have to be still and quiet than Star Wars. For dummies like me out there that never jumped on this Sci Fi band wagon, there are 6 of them, apparently, spanning from the late 70’s through the 2005-ish. But, chronologically, the ones made later are meant to be watched first, and vise versa. I was confused, and didn’t want to look stupid in front of my kids, so asked around, and with mixed opinions, watched the first movie produced first, which is actually, eventually, the 4th in the series. See what I mean? Confusing. To be honest, Harry and Lily are only almost 4 and 5, so I really don’t think they’ll even notice.

Growing up in the technologically amazing world that our kids are accustomed to, I started to notice some differences in our reactions to these classic movies. For example, they were not impressed in the slightest that Chitty Chitty Bang Bang could fly. “Where are his jets?!” Harry asked. They didn’t think it was amazing that Miss Price and Emelius Brown were talking to cartoon characters, or that Dorothy’s house was blown from the bland, tornado wrecked world of Black & white into a colourful world of magic and munchkins. In a world of 3D Harry Potters, and larger that life Blue Ray cartoons, these things went un-noticed. That is not to say, however, that the magic of the stories were lost on my New Millennium children. No, no, no! They sat mesmerised to the tales and loved each and every second, booing at the baddies and cheering for the heroes. What I did notice, was their running commentary to each other. The thoughts and theories of 2 best mates experiencing the magic of escaping into a movie together. It was so entertaining to me, that I thought I would take notes of what they discussed during their (and mine) very first Star Wars Movie.

So thats what I did. At first it was more for my bestie and her husband, 2 life long Star Wars fans, who I wished were sitting beside me while we watched. By the end I thought I may as well let you all enjoy. Its pretty much just a running commentary of Star Wars, A New Hope, straight from the mouths and hearts of Lily, who’ll be 4 in December and Harry, 5. This is just random comments from scene to scene. I’m sure you fans out there will know where they are when they comment. Be warned….they chat a lot through movies……

 

Me reading the opening Credits…”A long time ago, in a galaxy…”

Lily: Were there dinosaurs in that galaxy?

Harry: Are they goodies or baddies? Oh, never mind. You can tell they’re baddies ’cause they have the biggest ship ever. And you can tell they’re goodies because they’re robots. I’ve never met a baddie Robot.

Harry: That gold man walks funny.

Lily: That black bloke in the cape must be the king of the bad white ones.

Lily: Is the gold man the princess?

Harry: Take your hoods off guys, so we can see what you look like! Your red eyes are giving me the creeps!

Lily: Is that a gigantic Iguana that baddie is driving?!

Harry: Is that what I think it is? Me: What? Harry: A hairy elephant with sheep horns?!

Lily: I do NOT like sand people…     Harry: Oh Lily, they’re not real! We dont see them at the beach!!

Lily: He says his name’s Ben Kenobi.   Harry: So is it Ben? or Obi-Wan? Is it his dad? My dads names Ben.

Lily: I don’t get it….     Harry: Well, that lady with the funny hair put some sort of map or plan or something in that round robot and the black helmet man wants it.    Lily: Oh. OK. Well, I hope I don’t have a magic map in my belly.

Harry: Whats The Force?

Harry: Whoa!!! Did you see that!!! That old bloke with the beard used that blue stick thing and cut that man in the bars arm clean off!!!   Lily: Dont worry. He probably deserved it.

Harry: Good thinking, guys. Hiding in the floor. But where’s the weird gold block and the robot? Hope they didn’t get captured!

Lily: Where on earth are they, Harry!!!     Harry: I don’t know, but it doesn’t look good!    Lily: Is that a snake!!!!!    Harry: How on earth should I know!!   Lily:  But its gonna drown-ded that boy!!!…………Oh no, never mind…there he is.

Harry: Holy Ham!!!!! They’re gonna get squashed in that garbage room like cane toads!!  Why doesn’t he use that fancy blue sword thing and just cut a hole in the wall!!

Harry: The old bloke in the brown dressing gown wants to destroy the Black cape man, doesn’t he.

Harry. If that Luke could fly, it’d make this movie heaps better. He’d get over that bridge in a second, hey mama?

Harry: Does he still have that blue sword thing on him? Well, I don’t know what he’s saving it for!

Lily: Oh no! The King in the black cape is gonna kill the old bloke with the beard isn’t he!? I cant remember his name. I think its “Oky Block”   Harry: Is he The King?    Lily: Of course he is! Have you been watching at all?!    Harry: Then wheres his crown?   Lily…………..Ummmm?….actually, maybe he’s not The King.

Lily: Oh!!!! His names Ben!!! My daddy’s names Ben. But he doesnt have a white beard or wear jaamies. Except to bed.

Lily: I think The black Cape man, who isn’t The King, turned Ben into a mouse! Its just his brown jumper left in a pile on the ground!     Harry: Oh Lily!!!! This is Star Wars!! Not The Witches!!! Thats what happens in the book we’re reading!!

Lily: Oh Gawd! I cant watch! The Gold Mans on fire!!!!

Lily: Where’s the old man?   Harry: He got zapped. Only his jumper survived.

Harry: This Hans Solo fella looks a little like Indiana Jones, doesn’t he!?

Lily: I can hear Ben’s voice. But I cant see him. Is he in Luke’s helmet? I thought he got zapped?

Lily: How does Goldie understand what R2D2’s saying? He sounds like a bird!!!

Harry: Oh no!! R2D2 got shotted!!!  Lily: oh! I hope he’s ok!    Harry: He did it! Luke blew up the ship!!!!   Lily: Who cares! Just get R2D2 to the doctor!!!!

Harry: So, is Luke gonna be The King now?   Lily: I don’t know, but the lady changed her hair.   Harry: And look Lily, R2D2’s Ok!!!   Lily: AND he’s so SHINY!!!!!!!!

 

THE END

 

 

 

 

  • Alyda - OMG this is GOLD!!!!!!!! So so so funny, I love your kids 😀

    Although I’m still processing the fact that you haven’t seen Star Wars!!?? Are you crazy?ReplyCancel

  • Jessica Wadey - So are they into it? More importantly did you like it?ReplyCancel

  • Tracy - I read this post out loud to my partner (both of us Star Wars fans). The transcript was priceless El! I nearly wet myself as I was reading out loud!! I’m passing this onto all other Star Wars Fans!!!ReplyCancel

  • Christine - Gold. Pure gold. Although I have never seen Star Wars either… :) Still, their commentary crack me up and make me miss you and your family!!! :)ReplyCancel

  • Kellee Walsh - Omg, that is quite possibly the funniest thing I have ever read! Huge star wars fan here :)ReplyCancel

  • Katie Thomas - Love it!!! Justin is desperate to show Liam Star Wars – I hope we get a commentary just as funny!ReplyCancel

  • Kell - I finally saw this…….soooo good!!!! AHHH so bloody good El xxReplyCancel

  • Robyn Geering - this is simply devine. How incredibly smart are your kids – so on the ball.ReplyCancel

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